Stu Newnham

Prompt: The Day The Crayons Quit - From Episode 08

“Lifehacks. That’s where it all went wrong.”

Orange took a long drag from his pipe and let out a smoke-filled sigh.

“What’s a lifehack?” asked Purple puzzled.

Orange reached into his pocket and took out his mobile phone. It was haggard and scratched from years of being thrown around his person whenever he was used and flung back down. 

Purple and the other colours looked on in anticipation. Green, enthralled, shuffled to get a better view, elbowing the others out the way. Orange leant forward and held his phone up for all to see. 

“Hi, I’m LifeHackSteve and here’s a great tip if you run out of candles”.

LifeHackSteve picked up a zippo from the countertop and grinned as he opened a small box.

It contained Yellow. 

Yellow stared blankly into the camera; his face drained of all colours. He was merely Grey now.

LifeHackSteve pulled his thumb down on the zippo wheel creating a huge flame and plucked Yellow from his box.

“You can use old crayons that you have lying around!”.

The group gasped and every colour covered its eyes. The room was silent except for the sound of sizzling paper, melting wax and LifeHackSteve’s ongoing commentary.

Orange pushed stop and wiped a tear from his eye.

“Lifehacks… Goddamn lifehacks”.

Stu is a musician who tries to be funny (his words not ours), a voice actor and co-host of the 10 Hour Timestamp podcast. He can be found on twitter at @StuTheBrummie